In honor of this week’s Game of Thrones Season 7 premier, we present the following psychometrically valid projections.
Blood Raven — 180. I don’t know who this is. I read the first book a few months after it came out and have had to wait while George R.R. Martin beta tested EverQuest 2 and 23 hour naps a day between each book writing, so my reads have been incredibly spaced out. I think he was like a sorcerer/advisor to the Targaryen dynasty. Or maybe he then morphed into the Three-eyed Raven -- that guy seemed pretty bright although if I were supposedly that smart I wouldn't live in a tree. But a quick google search on intelligence of GoT characters always has him listed as #1. So if the internet says so, it must be true.
Tyrion — 179. They say Imp’n ain’t easy, but I think it is. Tyrion had all of the time and the resources to have read books growing up, and he has read them all. Including copious LSAT guides and practice exams. He would likely come up just one point short get it?…ouch.
LittleFinger – 179. Little Finger has the longest list of C&F issues AdComms have ever seen; and I mean running a brothel is the least of them. He needs a 179 or 180 to get into Braavos Law and he knows it. He also has the intellectual firepower to do so and if not, probably he means to forge the test score anyway.True story, applicants have sent in fake LSAT scores designed to look like the reason CAS reports before. Not a great idea, but LittleFinger would be the one to get away with it.
Maester Aemon — 178. What can I say, the guy has seen it all (ok, again ouch) and not even a circle problem will thrown him off.
Varys — 177. As an added test-taking bonus, he isn’t distracted by members of the opposite or same sex like just about every other character in GoT.
Olenna Redwine (The Queen of Thorns) — 177. I didn’t know her name, I just think of her as Margery’s really smart grandmother. The really smart thing pays off here.
Tywin Lannister — 170, 173, 176 . Is there any doubt he would take it three times to better his chances of leaving a legacy or getting a few extra coin?
Daenerys Targaryen — 173. I have no idea what she would score. I don’t even know what I just put down. But she is awesome.
Cersei Lannister - 171. Always has to come out ahead of Jaime.
Jaime Lannister — 170. Jaime is more intelligent than I think he gets credit for. There is also zero chance he would suffer from test day anxiety. He also gets some serious accommodations for missing a hand.
Bronn — 168. He is that jerk that doesn’t prepare or practice and shows up hungover…yet still beats you.
Arya Stark - 165. Visits each school. Acts herself. Stays calm and collected. Gets a huge bump for being real. Ends up at a T-6 but her professors can never remember her name.
Theon Greyjoy — 144. I’d personally sit outside his test center and blow a trumpet for 3 straight hours to tank his score. And man does he hate horns.
Podrick Payne — 140. I’d admit him in a heartbeat score or no score.
Hodor – - 120. No one could possibly contest that Hodor would get his name right on the LSAT. The cool thing though is you want this guy at your test center if you are running late and need someone to hold the elevator door for you,
Ramsey Bolton 120. He isn't there to take the test, just to make sure the people around him get a 120 because he pesters them so much.
Night King No score. Shows up for law school first day of class. They have to call security on him. Incidentally this too happens every year.
Did we miss your favorite character, or bomb on someone.
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